Sunday, 16 December 2012

A thought about the Dream

if someone were to ask me right now
what´s the dream?

I would say........ travelling 
not as a tourist,
but as a listener 
a storyteller...

Achieving the dream 
requires me to be patient,
till to the moment
when i look at myself in the mirror
and tell myself
It's time to go for it 

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

A thought about Promises

It's hard for to understand why people always break their promises. Understandable is that nobody is born perfect, but with flaws. The imperfection is what makes us human. And human makes mistakes. We are often born with a list of responsibilities jotted down by others, which awaits us to fulfill one by one. The question is just the time to lay the first tick on that never ending checklist.

Somehow people get too occupied with those responsibilities. You are busy, I am busy and everyone is busy with their own chores. Being busy often makes people forget about things we have said, done and most importantly promised. Different levels of priority are set for promises made to different people. What stay on top of my list might not be the same as your top priority. It could be parents, friends, spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. Which ever comes first determined how important that person to you. 

Life changes as time goes, same thing with our priority in life. Without having family at my side, friendship is the precious asset I have living in foreign country. I have seen friends around me come and go. I have stopped believing in the so called best friend forever. I once had some crazy stupid thoughts about who being my best man during my wedding. I even asked someone to be at my side as my supporter on my big day and he said yes. I was too naive to believe our relationship would last that long. Soon the relationship status downgraded from being brother like best friend to friend and now perhaps acquaintance. being naive once is forgivable. but twice. Obviously I don't really learn from mistake. 

Promise made should be fulfilled. That's my principle of life. That's why I seldom give promises unless I am sure that I am capable of fulfilling them. Frankly I just hate those people who broke their promises. Who can I blame but myself.  

There are so many things spoken by people which are meant to enter through the right ear and go out from the left. Taking things seriously so easily has given me hard and miserable time to be able to forget and start all over again. 

I have broken a lot of promise and I hate myself for that, but like I said I am not and will never be perfect. But there is one thing I can which is being wise and learn how to protect myself.

A Thought about a Storyteller

Life is just a mere performance on stage. The performance changes from one stage to the other. as it evolves, the story itself changes as the taste of audiences differs in terms of culture, mentality and acceptance. If a storyteller could adapt the stories accordingly, then no doubt a lot of attention would be gained from the bigger audiences.

Often it depends on the storyteller to set who the storyteller would want to address his tale to. Ultimate success and a path to stardom can only be achieved by having a great story line and the unconditional support from actors and actresses who portray the character of the story. They act as an important medium for the storyteller to reach out to the audience. To be able to deliver a successful performance requires mutual trust from two sides, whose future is dependent on each other.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

A Thought about Regrets

There are times when you need to make decisions which could shape your future. Those are the times we try to imagine the different lives those decisions would lead us to and asking ourselves about endless what-ifs. A perfect life would be after ten or twenty years, you would look back into the past and you have no regrets for the things you have done in the past. It's never just about how successful you are or how much money you have earned for money is not always the measurement for happiness. Life can be simple yet you are contented and have no regrets.

Frankly speaking, if I continue doing whatever I am doing right now, 10 years from now on, if Blogger were to survive till then, most probably I would be writing about how regretful I am, for the life I have chosen in the present.  

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

a Failure & a Thought about Hope

I have not had the motivation to drive me doing basically everything lately. A good example is that I gave up my 360 Days an entry a day plan because I was not determined for committing myself for such a determination demanding plan. That's basically the truth and I would not give any excuses saying I am busy and lack of spare time to write entries or whatsoever.

Things have been rather different lately. After the exams in July, I have been having the feeling of losing my sense of direction. Frankly speaking, I have not been having the drive and sense of direction ever since I have gotten what I had wanted which I had spent years in school achieving the only goal at that time. After having my goal achieved, I have been having a rather overly smooth and monotonous path all this while. As the result, my determination has gone flabby. The lack of motivation in life has further driven it under free fall all the way down into a deemed endless pit. 

There was once, not too long ago, I thought I have found something which I could hang on to and slowly climb back up to where I started to fall. Hope could sometimes be deceiving. A false hope can be disastrous. 

Just when I thought I could climb back up to where I was and perhaps go even further up to the peak, the rope which I hanged on to was already worn out. It was just a matter of time for the rope to break. Finally, it did and it has not taken long. A hope can promote positive thinking but when it fails it gives back 2 times more damaging effect. 

The feeling that I had when the rope broke, as if my soul were experiencing a sudden change of movement, in physics we call it inertia, at the very moment when the fall began, and my body was pulled by the gravitational force downwards back to the deemed bottomless black pit, but my soul wanted to remain at the moment when I was, drenched with sweats of high hope and spirit, in the effort of climbing back up.

As time passes, I realize our life is never an equation with constants, there are always variables which come into the play and variables do what they do best, they vary. Although sometimes i would rather believe things can be perfect and remain forever the same. That's because at the absence of hope, a false hope can sometimes be very comforting at the time when we need hope the most. It moves people forward, even though the end of the path might just be a dead end. 

Sunday, 22 July 2012





Friday, 15 June 2012

365 Random thought of the day- Day 4

"It doesn't matter what the newspaper, the politician or the whole world say, they don't define who you are. You do! Not by your words, but by your action. The truth will come out but until then I am going to keep fighting." Captain America.

I know what some of you might have in mind right now. Yes! I am still watching cartoon. It has become a habit since I was 5 years old. Like what is written above.. It doesn't matter what the people say about me.

Picture from

Thursday, 14 June 2012

365 Random thought of the day- Day 3

Dear 500D,

I have a confession to make.

You have served me well. I love you for the companionship and journey we have gone through together. I admit that I am jealous about other people for having cameras which have better capabilities than you have. Sometimes I feel even frustrated for knowing that I could do better.

However, a good photographer should be able to take good pictures no matter what cameras one uses. I will take this as a challenge and take this as an opportunity to improve myself.


Wednesday, 13 June 2012

365 Random Thought of the day- Day 2

Yesterday I had a chat with my friend and we talked about relationship and some other stuffs. She said I couldn't cope well with long distance relationship. Well she was right and she knows well enough because she is always the person I turned to when I have relationship problem.

It came to my realization some time ago. I don't want to be in a relationship with regrets, feeling suffocated and stuck throughout the relationship and marriage without having tasted the very life I want to enjoy. Now I realized that I have made the right decisions few years ago. Those decisions have given me time to do what I want and have all the fun which i wish for. Now I am getting myself ready to move on to the next stage of my life and I feel that I am a better person now than I was 2 years ago. Being single has given me some time to think and look for somebody whom I can communicate well with.    

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

365 Random Thought of the day- Day 1

Having people praising me somehow makes me becoming more and more arrogant. I have the feeling that I am becoming the person whom i used to hate so much. 
Suddenly this thought came to me. It might have been there in my mind all the time, just that over confidence and the praises given by friends somehow gets the better of me. That's why I would sometime be humble and even disagree with good things people say about me, because I know myself well enough. 
One can be talented, but without committing oneself to constant self-improvement, The talent need to be nurtured and further developed in order to transforming the talent into skills. If one immerses oneself in praises from others and over confidence or arrogance that rises within, the journey ahead wouldn't be far. Sooner or later one will realize that one remains too long at where one is and it might be too late because one will no longer be talented. People might have surpassed through hard work and the willingness to give effort in achieving goals, rather than being contented for the given praises. There are a lot more people who are greater and better than us, perhaps they might not be around us, but they are out there. Be prepared for them as one day the challenge might come to our doorstep. Knowing that one has given one's best to the things one is doing and improved oneself by constant learning might prevent us from the bitter taste of losing. Often the important thing in a competition is not about the prizes, it is rather the journey taken and the effort which one has given to prepare oneself for the competition.  

Giving a speech is always easier than taking action. I know but just a random thought i would like to share with people.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

A Favor

I hope this coming weekend would turn out to be a good one. From the time I started taking pictures using DSLR until now, I have collected some experience taking pictures for events like engagement, party and official ceremony. Finally during this coming weekend, I will have the chance to be photographer at a wedding. I took the responsibility of second photographer as a favor to my friend who he said he needs my help badly. I do understand that taking wedding pictures for the first time can be really stressful even before the wedding day. All the preparation, brainstorming for ideas and all those effort to fulfill the expectation can be really stressful. I am glad that I am there for him to help out.

Spitting out the thought

Sometimes i just wish i could fight back people' sarcastic statement using the language I am good at instead of faking a smile and pretending that I didn't understand anything. Sometimes I do understand what the others say to me. You know what! all the while all the language classes which I have attended taught me how to write, listen and speak.. formally in a nice and polite way. After 3 years I have been in Germany, I realized what has been taught in the class didn't prepare us in our real life. It taught us to sit for exam and talk in formal conversation. I know what i should do is to take it as a challenge to myself for improvement. But then in my mind i always ask myself whether my life would be different if I were in different environment where I am capable to fight and defend myself.

Friday, 30 March 2012

It's has been ages since I really sit down and spend some time writing. Saying that i have been busy with studies and stuffs would just be another excuse for me not to blog. If you really like doing something or someone, you would find time even if you are busy. Sometimes i would ask myself questions like why am i studying engineering if I spend most of my free time editing pictures and taking pictures rather than reading technical articles and notes from my classes. It took me years to realize what I really like to do in the future as my profession. but when i come to think about it, if i were not in Germany, I would not have fallen in love with photography and met people who has helped me finding my interest. I supposed I am afraid finding myself at the dead end for my dream after giving up all the things which i have worked really hard to achieve.