Wednesday, 25 July 2007

2nd Apology

To Whom It May Concern

Seriously dude. Actually the first semester I didn’t hate you. Just your behavior sometimes annoyed me and I didn’t quite like your attitude because you behave obscenely. At that time I still haven’t get used to those kinds of things. I had cultural shock when I first came to INTEC. However now, I kind of like you. Perhaps I have allowed some toleration and adapted myself to the new surroundings. No hard feeling please! I apologize for what I said just now. I was stupefied when you were so emotional just now. But I just told you the truth. I did hate you: but what is more important is that I do like you now. (Like as in term of friendship. No brokeback). Please bear with me because I seriously have no idea what I am talking sometimes, so many times I regretted after that. Stehst du bitte mich aus. Tut mir sehr leid darueber.



To Whom It May Concern

Hey I just want to say sorry to you because I said I hate you. Please accept my apology and no hard feelings. Frankly, I don’t hate you; just sometimes I can’t stand you when you show me the you-know-what face. I have nothing much to say, but sorry.


Sunday, 22 July 2007

ICS Night

Billy, why are you so early today?

I went to his room and saw him preparing himself for the ICS Night. Usually I have to wait for him, this time it was the other way round. They have to wait for me. Haha!

Intec Inter cultural and Inter College Night (I hope I got it correct!). It was a wonderful event. Among all the performances, the highlight of the event was the dance at the end of the event. Frankly, the dance was stunning and outstanding. I wonder how much time they have spent for this dance. They truly deserved the big round of applause given by the spectators.

However my purpose of writing this post is not to describe how great or superb the night was. Of course everyone enjoyed themselves very much. The organizer pleased and glad that everything run smoothly on stage. The performers were overwhelmed when the audience put their hands together and cheered for them. The audience enjoyed watching the fantastic performances. I did enjoy myself but not much. It was not because of the performances. I just had a bad mood at that night, sitting with Chee Keong and Sheng Yu while I was dumped by my friends without knowing where the hell they went. Somehow I didn’t feel as if I belonged there. I felt alienated. The hall was crowded but deep in my heart i felt lonely. i realized something. before that, I wasn't sure about that, but now i am quite certain about it. (too private to be shared. Sorry!)

may be i am just an ugly duck among beautiful, elegant white swans.

After the event, I took some pictures with my friends and went back to hostel. After that they went to “shisha” (might be wrongly spelled) but I went back to my room without telling anything. Sorry guys I wasn’t in mood for late supper that night. actually i wanted to write the following sentences sarcastically. i have chosen not to do so. I was glad that I actually learned a new word today. Stand up. I will remember the meanings of this verb forever.

According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

STAND SB UP (INFORMAL) to deliberately not meet sb you have arranged to meet, especially sb you are having a romantic relationship with:

Anyway thank you guys for giving me such a valuable lesson!

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Ugly Price War

News on C.K.T

Good morning everyone. Sorry for interrupting the show. We just received breaking news regarding to the Harry Potter 7th book.

Harry Potter books at rm69.90!
Can you believe that? We were shocked when we first receive the information from anonymous who works in Tesco Sales department that they will be selling the 7th harry potter at price as low as rm69.90 regardless to the recommended retail price which is 109.90. A very big price difference indeed! Tesco sells rm40 cheaper than other bookstore like MPH, Popular, Harris and Border. Of course no freebies will be given away like other major bookstores do, but you can save a lot.

As the result of the drastic action taken by Tesco, the 4 major bookstores have reached agreement not to put the book on sale to counter and protest the drastic action and voice the unfairness. So fans of harry potter out there, you guys better go to Tesco nearby to get your very own copy of the latest Harry Potter as they have limited copies only. So better be hurry!

I am William. Signing out.

All rights reserved. C.K.T TV 2007

behind the scenes!
What the %^&*(censorship)! my key! my care key! hey Anna do you have my car key? i am in hurry now. I wanna get my harry potter asap!

are you going to Tesco?

No of course! %^& them(censorship again)! what the hell they think they are. selling the book at rm70! that's crazy man! honestly it is very unfair for other competitors especially the bookstores . they bookstores sell book to earn profit, not groceries, appliances, or whatsoever. tak adil sial! Books are their bread and butter. Popular.. here i come. i support you.

hey william! get back to work

hey boss wants you to work le. how?

sorry boss i can't make it for the news at noon. sorry got to go! Nobody can take care of charkueyteow if i am fired.

Thursday, 19 July 2007

My Birthday 19 July

thx Jin Ee for your cake

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Today is my birthday. It is time for me to say good bye to 18. I am no longer 18, but 19. So happy yet worry, I am older now and just a stone’s throw away from adulthood. That does worry me. People grow up and become adult; it means we have to face more problem and setbacks in life. We would never be in comfort zone we used to be. More challenges await us in front for us to overcome and conquer.

Enough of philosophy let move on to what has happened on my birthday. At midnight I received a present from Jin Ee and it was a slice of cake. I never believed that I would get a cake from friends. I was so surprised. Then today morning I went to INTEC and had my routine as usual, attending classes, day-dreaming, and others. Other than that I received a lot of messages from my friends through various way, some wished me personally, some sent me messages

through hand phone and some left comment in my friendster. But some of them, the way they wish me happy birthday really made me feel touched and it was really unexpected. Jin Ee sent me a cake at midnight; Chee Keong, Sheng Yu and Ang sang happy birthday song to me through phone. And the CA people there even prepared a birthday cake for those whose birthday is in July.

Other than that, today’s CA gathering was really great. I felt that I was part of them, the Christians; and I enjoyed listening to the inspirational talk by Joesh (sorry if I am wrong, not sure the spelling).

to me the above message sent by my parent is the most touching message i have ever received. That was the happiest moment ever.

I really enjoyed myself today I think I won’t forget today, my special day.

Consequences of being overconfident

Recently I joined a multimedia presentation competition in conjunction with Math and Science carnival. We knew about it only 2 days before the presentation day and we did everything in hurry. Before the competition, Amir and Shivenes were so confident of winning the rm300 cash. But I wasn’t. I have joined a lot of competition and also experienced the consequences of being over confident. Among all the teams, our presentation was the most unorganized and people could see that not much effort has been put in our presentation. As the result we lost and got last. Unbelievable! At the moment I saw our scores, I was stupefied, speechless. I predicted that we would lose but I never thought that we would get last. There was a strange feeling filling my heart and I don’t know what kind of feeling it is. May be it is humiliation. Because never in my life had I got last. Never! Finally after 18 years I was in that position. No one will understand the feeling I had when standing in front of everyone, listening to the announcement of the result and the comment from the judges. Sucks man! However we managed to get consolation prize even we got last and it was rm100 cash. Not bad for last minute work! So we will get rm25 each. Wonderful!

see rm100 for getting last.
but it was final round, so felt proud of myself also!

Emo la you William!.... 16 July

GYE: William, why you blog so emo! Why can’t you just write something else like your com or other stuff which is not that emo as your previous blog?

Since people keep saying my blog so emo. I plan to write something else. But I have no idea to write. But I myself actually think that my blogs are not emo as what they said. I just write to express my feelings so that I could feel better after letting it out. (may be I was emo at that time! Haha!) I don’t want to change my style or the way I write my blog. If I do so, it would be meaningless for me, because expressing my feelings and my own opinion is the force which drives me into writing blog. No I kinda addicted to it already. However recently I don’t know why my idea is depleting and it is quite hard for me to write blog. May be my life now has gone back to the same monotonous, mundane, dull routine I have in Shah Alam.

Alone good or bad... 16 July

I am alone in the house for this weekend. My roommates has gone to the kem bina insan and left me alone in the house. After I have been staying in this new room for one week, I find my life now more organized and feel more peaceful as I can spend more time on study and concentrated very well. However somehow I feel very lonely and need a companion because I am the only ALG student in my house. I don’t know whether it is good or bad, but there is one thing I am quite sure is that I have the life I always want to have now. This new room of mine gives me the feeling of being at home. I have gained something at the same time I have lost something. There is no such thing as perfection in life. You have to sacrifice something to achieve our goal. I got the idea from the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”. It is a great movie of course mainly because of the lesson or message delivered. We can’t have everything we want. We gain something; we might also lose something in the process. Fame and success in career might change you into something you would never want to be. You are forced to be those who you hate in the past.

Bored and sleepy

I feel sleepy and keep yawning every time during Brian’s class. German class used to be very interesting; all of us were like having fun learning German. However now I think that German class is very boring and quite monotonous. I hope that Brian doesn’t just sit in front of his Apple Mac Book Pro and give lesson. It might be quite interesting at first because it was quite cool to have a lecturer teaching using computer. Moreover it was a 10k Mac Book which is quite rare in Malaysia. But now I think it is time for him to change his teaching style as the method he is using now is getting boring and I prefer him to moving around, writing some stuff on white board. To have my eyes just fixed on the projector screen makes me feel very sleepy. Brian, kannst du bitte deine Lehrmethode aendern?

Monday, 16 July 2007

To accept

No one can predict what will happen in the future as things always happen in a way that is different from what we have actually planned. That is why no human is capable of manipulating life. Willingly or reluctantly, we have to accept the reality.


Why do people cry? Do you think that only weak people cry? In my opinion, crying is not a sign of weakness. For me, crying is a way of reducing stress, releasing the anger, feeling more comfortable, showing love, but not showing weaknesses. By the time we were born and just got out of the womb, the first thing the nurse will do to us is making you cry because it helps the babies to breath.

Everyone cries. If anyone says they never cry, they are indeed a big liar. Crying shows no sign of weakness. If you want to cry, just cry and don’t care about what other people might think about you. Just let it out. Even though the problem won’t be solved just by crying, you will feel better after you cry.


Today, finally we knew our semester 2 final exam result and sadly I only got 13 points 2 Bs (Physic and Chemistry) and 1 A (Math and Mechanics). Other than that I got an A for German and B for English. I felt disappointed with my result and me myself. I was stupefied and just couldn’t believe myself that I would get B for my Physic. So sad man! May be I sound a bit kiasu. I admit that I am kiasu. Actually if I were the person 2 or 3 years ago, getting that kind of result would have no effect on me because I would consider that kind of result is good enough for me as I know clearly my capability and how far I could go, how high I could jump. After being here and getting good result in first semester has boosted up my confidence and that confidence has blinded me from who I was and made me think that I am intelligent and smart. Moreover people around me like my classmates always think that I am a genius or what so ever. Their compliment is also one of the contributing factors that make me to have a stupid thought like that. May be it is time for me to throw away the size 12 shoes and wear back the size 9 shoes I always did. William, don’t be too overconfident! Study! Study! Study! Just be yourself, the person who doesn’t shine brightly during the process but at the end. Oh here I would like to congratulate Yoong for getting such an outstanding result.


Time flies. The one-month holiday finally comes to an end. This holiday a lot of things happened to me. There are some changes on me mentally and physically. I was delighted to be at home for one month because I love to be in the house, which has been my home since I was born. I was happy to have my bed, my computer, my TV, and my parent to accompany me during this long holiday. Now I am alone at home because my parent has gone out for attending a wedding dinner in Tambun. I spend my last 2 hours here at home alone, writing this blog. I really hope that my parent could accompany me now because I miss them so much. One has to experience something to understand or realize the feeling. My parent always sent me to bus station and stayed with me until the bus left. I thought that I didn’t miss them as I felt nothing in my heart. But this time without my parent I feel lonely. it has proven that I do miss them. Especially after what has happened to me during the holiday, it has strengthened our bond. I am reluctant to go back because there would be lots of homework, hectic schedule, awaiting us. At home I was back to my comfort zone once again. During the recovery period, my mother became my temporary maid and took good care of me. I will keep this special period of time in my mind forever because it means a lot to me. That was the invaluable treasure I have found this holiday. How about yours?

Sunday, 1 July 2007

Reminiscent of the relationship I had

Finally I can go out and hang out with friends. We went to The Sense music café. i was looking forward to a very happy, exciting gathering, but at the end it turned out to be a very dull and boring gathering. I had the chance to meet with those who just finished A-Level exam and will be going oversea soon. I looked at them for a few seconds and they didn’t even look back at me. So sad le. We never talked at all. It reminded me of the last gathering in my friend’s house. I was in the center of attention because of my relationship with my ex. Now after breaking up with her, they had nothing to talk to me at all and me either. I wonder what would it be if I never broke up with my ex. May be I think too much or am being a bit sensitive. By the way I was sitting beside my ex yesterday’s gathering. I felt awkward as this was our first gathering after we become friends once again. But we talked. This reminds me about something very important. Like genie and lamp, the genie comes out when the lamp is rubbed. When I met with her, the feeling hidden inside me suddenly came out. My I still have some feeling towards her. However this feeling I had won’t last. Long distance relationship might work if we have a very strong base we have built before we part. Otherwise it is quite challenging to maintain such relationship.

Relationship is a learning process

I have learnt a lot through my first relationship. Before that I have no idea what is love and can’t even differentiate what is friendship and love. We need time and experience to get the answer. After the failed relationship I had, I got the answer finally. I started to understand actually what love is and what the feelings being in love are. I am just not ready for relationship now. May be because of the hectic schedule I have or I haven’t met my Miss Right yet. I admit that it is difficult to differentiate between best friend and partner. I got it wrong once, I hope there won’t be second time for me. After breaking up with girlfriend, a lot of people have questioned me about that. Why are you so cruel? Why do you hurt her? But no one comforts, consoles, cares for me, and my feelings. The answer I gave them is that it is time for me to let go because I don’t want to lie and hurt her anymore. In my opinion, sometimes you have to be in relationship to get to know whether the partner is suitable to you. Thanks to her. I learn a lot but I felt sorry for disappointing and hurting her. I am not a perfect person as she thought I should be.