Sunday, 16 December 2007


GMI this is the place i have spent 3-week-time after the exam.

Finally, the end-of-semester exam has come to an end. I am really glad that the exam is over now but sadly I still have to stay back for practical training in GMI. Oh GMI stands for German Malaysian Institute. People always ask: Where and what is GMI? Never heard of it before (meaning it is not famous and perhaps lousy)! But when I say: oh it is German Malaysian Institute, Training for Advanced Technology. Wow! All of a sudden people have second thought about GMI. Oh! Germany wooow! Must be a very ho liao punya institute! Imagine the college might have the technology from Germany! I had the same thought like that also but not until I have been to the college and seen it with my own eyes. The wow factor suddenly vanished into thin air.

i spent most of my time chatting with 周公. literally sleeping haha!!!

Studying in GMI is really a torment. Life during GMI time is so boring and freaking tiring. Traveling every day by INTEC bus to and fro from Shah Alam to Cheras, really worn me out badly. Actually I don’t mind travelling like that every day, if studying there is worth the effort and the suffering. But the fact is that in GMI the class starts from 8 6 p.m. and I think we just have about not more than 3 hours class while the rest of the time either the lecturer would go to somewhere else for break or we would be having break. Speaking the truth, most of the lecturers there are utterly lazy and the syllabus for our course is ridiculously too much for us. All the notes given are prepared for the diploma course and the area covered is way too big for the short course we are taking. The lecturers either they skip a lot or teach at the speed of light. I am 99.9% sure that most of them do the former.

using a program called UniTr@in during E-Digital class to prove the Boolean Theorem for logic gates.somemore

Why almost? Frankly, I do learn something there, some practical training stuff like soldering, Bench work and AUTOCAD. The module I like the most is actually bench work. During bench work class, we learn how to model parts of a machine using mild steel. NO machines allowed! We had to file the rusty piece of metal into the desired shape. For one whole week, we only filed, and filed and filed to get accurate dimensions. Filing continuously drained all the energy out of me and it was freaking boring. After this bench work module, I change my mind set on measurement that 1mm to me is never as small as I use to think anymore. With 2-hour-continuous-filing, I only managed to file 1 mm and 2 mm more to go. 3mm.. eh le, sikit saja kan!! That’s only one side, dude! But every time when I filed to the desired dimension, all of a sudden, my body somehow was replenished and overwhelmed with the joy and satisfaction. This is because I did all that with my own hands, my own effort. Yeah!!!! I always have the belief of “慢工出细货” it means that quality is more important despite of the slowness. (of course not in tortoise speed!!)

Behold!!!! my beautifully crafted WORKPIECE!!!

Sweat!!! Poor skill... plenty of room for improvement.
BTW, this is me wearing GMI's dusk coat and holding my workpiece

After undergoing this practical training, I came to the realization that, theories and practical are both equally important in becoming a successful engineer. No offence please! But it really shows me the failure of the Malaysian exam-based education system. Answering exam question or studying and memorizing all the theories might be quite easy, but when the time comes when you have to apply all the stuff we have learned on practical, it is totally different thing and not as easy as you think it is. If you want construct a simple circuit consists of just a switch, a few resistors, buzzer and light bulb on a strip board, it is not simple as it seems. We need skills and full understanding on how the circuit works and we ought to be flexible and think creatively. As the Chinese saying goes ‘死读书, 读书死!’ which means if we just study, study and study without practical application, most probably we would end up finding an dead end. Flexibility and creativity are the most important criteria an engineer should have. So a student who scores in exam might not be successful in future career where application of the theories is crucial.

Random pic>>

AAAAA!! Fire! Fire! where the hell is the key?

hey kids. dun play with this!!!

spent most the free time reading newspaper..
browsing for the showtime for movie!! haha!

Mamak stall just outside GMI

Enough about GMI! One thing that actually keeps me ‘alive’ there is actually the food there. After staying here in Shah Alam and eating Malay and mamak food for more than a year, I really miss eating Chinese food. Haha!

I am not referring to food-which-shall-not-be-mentioned. Basically, most of the time, I just eat vegetable and beans because of my special eating habit of mine. For those who still don’t know what I am saying, I don’t eat meat with bone. Don’t ask me why. Phobia I guess! I never find out why and I don’t want to. The time I treasure the most is during the lunch! oh we discovered a shopping place in Cheras called Queen's Park Cheras, Jalan Peel (next to Carrefour)! they sell a lot of branded stuff at cheap price! Got Esprit, Mango, FOS, Giordano, Nike, CK etc.

hey trees! you think you can block me from reaching the sky! no matter how hard it would be i will try my best to conquer and overcome all the deterrent and huddles you have installed for me!!! (Crapping)

After this GMI, I must start doing revision and preparation for the coming A-Level exam. Next semester is the 4th semester and it will be the last. I really hope I could concentrate well despite of the distractions. My housemate might be leaving soon, if he is, then I would be alone and miss him so much. May be we don’t look like best friends, but he will always, always be my best friend. (my housemate, if you read this, just pretend that you never read this. Hahaha!)

Saturday, 8 December 2007

huh! Das Podium is BI?

Das Podium Eure Nachrichten!

it has been one year since i created this blog. Now the reporters of Das Podium has increased from the two who are grace and I to five. They are Patricia, Amir and Helen. Every week we updates our Blog and reports the activities and news about ALG program. One copy will be pasted on the board of ALG in block U.
Thanks to all the "reporters" of Das Podium, now the blog is bilingual. Before that, all the posts were in German and nobody but ALG people could understand. (suggested by Shi Han)

"It's better you make this blog bilingual....
though I can't understand at all,
I will always support you bunch of amazing people
who dare to take up such a difficult language.
Of course this is only my humble opinion"

Si Han

i really hope by doing this, other students from other programs can understand and know us better through this blog.
Visit our blog at and help us to promote this blog to everybody. thank you

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

If i were Anna Fitzgerald

Most of the people start reading novel since secondary or primary school. but for me i started quite late because before that i couldn't focus on one thing for more than half an hour. As time goes on, i realized that my exposure to English was not enough as i barely spoke English in school and at home. For the past 18 years of my life i talked 99% in Chinese. (No wonder i have problem talking in English when i first came to INTEC). It has never been easy for me because i can't listen clearly to what my friends say and i have trouble speaking, the pronunciation of course.(i use present tense). people correct me all the time! i did mind at first but it turned out to be beneficial for me. my English improving!

Back to reading.
My first novel was Harry Potter and i started reading it after the SPM exam because i had too much time. At first i just read for the sake of killing time and widen my vocab. but at the end i find myself falling in love with reading books. As the result, more and more books i read, such as Dan Brown's, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Mitch Albom's etc for me i don't actually have the particular genre of book i like to read. most of the time i read books which are bestsellers or recommended by my friends. Why? i don't want to be bored to death and moreover, i don't have much time to spend on novel.

Of so many books i have read until now, the most recent book i have read is My Sister's Keeper. have anybody read this book? i bet a lot of people have. I spent one week time to finish reading this book. My Sister's Keeper is special for me. it made me cry. Some of my friends said that the story is unreal and it is indeed a lousy book or whatsoever. Actually for me, most of the stories is unreal that's why they are called fiction.

My Sister's Keeper: if you use one of your children to save the life of another, are you being a good mother or a very bad one?
if you were to ask me this question, from the parent's point of view, the answer would be the formal.
If i were Anna, i will definitely save Kate even thought i know the truth that i was conceived just to be the donor for Kate. we all have our own destiny, some are great while some are not. if i were born to save Kate, i will take it as my destiny although i could have achieved something great in my life, pursuing my dream and doing what i want to do without concerning Kate. may be i am fated to help her although perhaps some part of me might refuses to accept that fact. Why? because she is my sister, it's just that simple. i won't allow my sister die whether it is against the God's will. in my opinion, that's My choice and My will. God never wants people to give up hope. Pain and suffering are just part of our life or perhaps a test from God. i will never give up until Kate blows her last breath because i don't want to regret in the aftermath of her death.

Speaking from my own experience,
i lost my best friend before to cancer, i was regretful for not spending more time with him and treating him better or doing whatever i could to help him, even if he needs a kidney from me, or bone marrow, i don't mind. i never understand his pain and suffering, but i wish i could go back in time just to be beside him and support him. this realization didn't came to me before his death. how regretful i am not to be by his side even when he blew his last breath!

My point is that what happens in My Sister's Keeper is not that unreal. it could happen, just that someone has to step up and be brave enough to sacrifice willingly for their loved ones.

(of course i know that things are easier to be said that to be done! i don't know i will be what i want to be. but i will know when time comes.)

Saturday, 24 November 2007


Just want to offer my friends some 'petrol' !

To all my friends taking STPM
, I wish you guys all the best and make sure you guys take good care of yourselves especially now during the exam period. Never ever give up these important exam of yours just because of the stress or you just want the exam to end as soon as possible just because you have not performed well in the past papers. Believe me this kind of feelings, i had it before and i believe everyone has same experience, but on no account should we give up. the past is past, don't turn around and look back. what is more important lies in front of us, the future. make sure you try your best so that you won't be regretful when you have your result slip in your hand! Finish the exam with pride and dignity.(just crapping Haha! i myself also have difficulty doing what i have written above! but i always encourage myself during the exam and sometime this motivation i give to myself during exam actually does work and rejuvenate me.)

不要放弃! 向前冲啊!
好好照顾自己的身体! 向"废寝忘食"说不!
加油! 加油!


Thursday, 1 November 2007

Alarm Clock

the alarm clock went off abruptly
the loud irritating noise woke me up
i have no idea who set the alarm for me
i felt very tired and my head was aching
i must have slept quite a long time

After i regained full consciousness
A lot of questions came to my mind
one by one
How long have i slept?
Who set the alarm clock for me?
I felt that i am completely different person
then who am i?
i wish i know the answer

all i know is that
during the long sleep
i dreamt myself in a land of fantasy
a beautiful place with no worries
there i could enjoy my life to the fullest
regardless the exam and homework
shopping for branded clothes
eating expensive food
even day-dreaming during the lesson
i became i totally different person

all of a sudden
a loud sound came out of no where
my fantasy land vanished into thin air
slowly i opened my eyes
finding the source of the loud noise

it came from the alarm clock
right beside me
it has been there for a long time
but the alarm never went off
however today it went off
i was dragged out of my dream
i realized i am lacking behind
where is the strong will power and determination
that have driven me to the peak of the mountain?

the alarm clock should have gone off earlier
nevertheless, i still have one more semester to go.
i will appreciate the every second left.
i hope the alarm clock will always be there for me

Friday, 26 October 2007


It has been one year
attending CA fortnightly
but as an outsider
People has been asking me why
Since I am a free thinker

CA has become part of my life
a place where I feel calm and free
an outlet for me to get away from stress
and mix around with others

People from different courses
come together under one roof
praise the Lord Jesus
worship the Lord Jesus

frankly and truthfully
i have done neither
because I'm still finding the answer

For the past 19 years of my life
I have been an outsider
attending mass with my family
and Sunday school with my brother
until now I remain as who I am
still an outsider

unlike my brother
I was given the freedom to choose
which religion I want to believe in
however until now I am yet belonged to any

I keep asking myself
why I can’t make up my mind
am I ready to be belonged?
Or free thinker suits me better

I’ll stay as an outsider
as long as the answer is yet to be found

Saturday, 13 October 2007



你离开我们已有一段时间了. 去年生日, 你和芯仪送我这块石头. 虽然它只是区区的一块石头, 到处都可以找到, 但是它是我目前收到最有意识的一份礼物. 心意不是用金钱来衡量的, 是否真心才是最重要. 不管你送的是什么. 我还是很高兴, 因为你虽然有病在身, 还是记得我的生日.

我很感激你对我做的一切. 很荣幸可以交到一个像你那么好的朋友.


Happy Birthday Shin Leong!
Herzlichen Gluckwunsch zum Geburtstag!

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

原因 The Reason

Sorry for the long pause i have taken. During the pause, i never stop writing, i just stop posting. Inspired by the Japanese Drama 'One Litre of Tears', i started to write diary. The diary now has become a place where i could write whatever in my mind and i can be emo inn the little heaven of mine. what is more important is that the diary is the proof of my existence in this world (from One Litre of Tears). It sounds very "big". but i agree and believe that. The diary contains all the personal feelings and emotions even thing that the writers never shares with other, which have been immortalized by the writer in the diary.

The Reason
Recently people has been asking me why i suddenly stopped posting. Actually i just need some time to reconsider and think about my aim and purpose of writing blog.

To impress or to express?
i still remember vividly that i asked Pat this question before. her answer is the latter. i agree with her because i used to have same thought like that. I always wrote to express myself. but at the end i have changed. i became the former.

The reason i started writing blog is that i need a place for me to express what i think and what i feel. that's why i used "It's just that simple!" A lot people thought that i used that because of somebody else. They got themselves wrong!

I have to gratefully thank someone for such a significant realization and those who has shown their support.

谢谢大家! 很感激你们向来的支持!
Thank you so much for your support!
Vielen Dank für eure Unterstützungen!
Terima Kasih atas sokongan kamu semua!

Sunday, 9 September 2007







Saturday, 18 August 2007

Aufwiedersehen Dr Sue

Dr. Suganthi will be leaving Malaysia soon and back to India after staying here for 10 years. She has taught me physic for one year. Under her teaching and guidance, my physic has improved much compared to last year. I started to understand physic. I wish she could stay here longer because she is indeed a good lecturer. Every one of us wants to feel belonged. For her, 10 years being in Malaysia is a long period of time and she has been lonely, not being able to be with her family and relatives. There is no other place better than India, her home country. May be one day I will be in her shoes, in Germany as a foreigner, minority, apart from my family and friends. i wonder whether I would found something or someone that make me feel belonged there.

Thank you very much for everything you have done to us, Dr. Suganthi! I wish you all the best for future takings.

Advantages of being a man

I was given this title to give a speech about that during English class. At first I was clueless about the advantages of being a man because as a man, I never thought about that before. Now I have to squeeze my brain to come out some idea.

I thought the physical strength was the most significant and clear advantage of being a man. However, after browsing some websites in internet, I found some ideas regarding my title. I find it very interesting and funny indeed. Es bringt mir zum Lachen!

If you are a man,

1. In Malaysia, you can be Prime Minister.

2. You can sit in any position you want, with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

3. Why women take longer time in toilet? For men, everything is done within a few minutes; you need not have to squad down. Moreover, the world is your urinal; you can have a pee everywhere you want.

4. Have you seen girls wearing white T-shirt in water theme park? In Malaysia most probably no. but you surely can wear white shirt even without one.

5. You won’t be a victim of the global warming. You can whip your ship off on a hot day! And show off your six packs (Like Yoong)!

6. When attending an interview, your body shape will never be a contributing factor whether you get the job.

7. Man’s greatest pain- giving birth. Men would never experience that.

8. Men won't suffer stomachache every month and need not have to spend money on sanitary pad.

9. People will always listen to what you say rather than glancing at your chest or backside and having some little fantasies in mind. (Unless you are a hot hunk!)

10. Not applicable to all races- your surname stays put.

If you have more, kindly share your idea!

Friday, 10 August 2007



Another question!

William: Do we need reasons to hate people?
Shivenes: we don’t need reason to love people so if we don’t love someone there must be reason we hate or don’t love the person.

First of all why do I suddenly ask this weird question? Nothing special, it is just my curiosity towards things happening around me. If I hate someone, there must be a reason.

I have a story about Mr. A. At first Mr. A was very popular, cheerful. Everyone likes him so much. No one joked like he did. After a while, suddenly he began to act strangely like wandering in front of you, talking to himself, screaming all of a sudden. Because of his bizarre behavior, everyone started to hate him, shun him. Everyone feels he is indeed annoying. But, no one actually tried to find out why he acted strangely. If someone undergoes such a big and sudden change in personality, I think there must be a reason behind. May be family problem like the love ones passed away, or psychology problem like getting attention from others by doing something odd. Someone might look very strong from outside, but has a heart just like tofu, fragile, which hardly withstands any force. Who knows who the person behind a mask really is?

Frankly, I am not criticizing those who hate Mr. A. But I am indeed curious about the hidden reason of Mr. A. No one likes to be shunned.

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Was denken Sie?

A question came across my mind out of the blue. do you think there is such thing as "sacrifice yourself willingly for the greater good in context of friends"? Would you sacrifice for the sake of your friends? yes or no

Friday, 3 August 2007


新民, 我以你为荣!

SMJK Sin Min, I am proud of you.

Ich bin sehr stolz darauf, dass ich einen studenten von Sin Min war.

母校一夜成名, 红透半边天

已经好久好久没有写华文了! 昨天我的朋友告诉我学校发生了”大件事” . 太突然了, 万万没想到母校在一夜之间成为人人口中的话题. 真的无法相信学校会因” 教师施鞭学生屁股淤血”而闻名.光华日报还写老师是在练习高尔夫球呢? 看了真是令人觉得太好笑了.还把学校的名字和校微放登出来. 传媒也太过分了吧!

外面现在传着许多谣言,谁是谁非呢? 老师还是学生? 没人可以很肯定地回答.

看了那张照片, 我大吃一惊. 学生的八月十五竟然被打到那么严重, 伤痕累累. 我还记得以前很怕吃藤鞭, 所以我都遵守纪律, 不闯祸. 之所以我从来没有尝试过藤鞭的滋味. 有点可怜他们. 听说他们是因为时常旷课, 不交功课和常常不带课本, 所以名字才会被老师写在buku gerakan里, 然后就会被guru disiplin 鞭屁股. Guru disiplin 其实不知道事情的来龙去脉.
虽然老师不应该出手那么重, 但是那三位学生还是有错在先. 所以我们不能都把矛头指向老师. 老师只不过是执行他的任务, 处罚学生. 奇怪的是为何老师鞭打30位学生只有3名学生投诉? 其他呢? 难道只有他们三位有胆给全世界看他们的八月十五吗?

我认为孩子不应该那么宝贝. 我以前举办training days 的时候, 有为学生家长来学校投诉我们说我们害到他的孩子中sunburn 脚抽经等等. 我们那时候只能低头认错. 真的不明百,我嗮的 太阳比他多好几倍, 脚痛手痛也还是要认下去., 难道我们就能把一切事物和责任丢下 不管吗? 被惩罚就去向学校投诉, 让我们中骂.
社会变了. 家长对孩子的溺爱只会让孩子误入歧途.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

2nd Apology

To Whom It May Concern

Seriously dude. Actually the first semester I didn’t hate you. Just your behavior sometimes annoyed me and I didn’t quite like your attitude because you behave obscenely. At that time I still haven’t get used to those kinds of things. I had cultural shock when I first came to INTEC. However now, I kind of like you. Perhaps I have allowed some toleration and adapted myself to the new surroundings. No hard feeling please! I apologize for what I said just now. I was stupefied when you were so emotional just now. But I just told you the truth. I did hate you: but what is more important is that I do like you now. (Like as in term of friendship. No brokeback). Please bear with me because I seriously have no idea what I am talking sometimes, so many times I regretted after that. Stehst du bitte mich aus. Tut mir sehr leid darueber.



To Whom It May Concern

Hey I just want to say sorry to you because I said I hate you. Please accept my apology and no hard feelings. Frankly, I don’t hate you; just sometimes I can’t stand you when you show me the you-know-what face. I have nothing much to say, but sorry.


Sunday, 22 July 2007

ICS Night

Billy, why are you so early today?

I went to his room and saw him preparing himself for the ICS Night. Usually I have to wait for him, this time it was the other way round. They have to wait for me. Haha!

Intec Inter cultural and Inter College Night (I hope I got it correct!). It was a wonderful event. Among all the performances, the highlight of the event was the dance at the end of the event. Frankly, the dance was stunning and outstanding. I wonder how much time they have spent for this dance. They truly deserved the big round of applause given by the spectators.

However my purpose of writing this post is not to describe how great or superb the night was. Of course everyone enjoyed themselves very much. The organizer pleased and glad that everything run smoothly on stage. The performers were overwhelmed when the audience put their hands together and cheered for them. The audience enjoyed watching the fantastic performances. I did enjoy myself but not much. It was not because of the performances. I just had a bad mood at that night, sitting with Chee Keong and Sheng Yu while I was dumped by my friends without knowing where the hell they went. Somehow I didn’t feel as if I belonged there. I felt alienated. The hall was crowded but deep in my heart i felt lonely. i realized something. before that, I wasn't sure about that, but now i am quite certain about it. (too private to be shared. Sorry!)

may be i am just an ugly duck among beautiful, elegant white swans.

After the event, I took some pictures with my friends and went back to hostel. After that they went to “shisha” (might be wrongly spelled) but I went back to my room without telling anything. Sorry guys I wasn’t in mood for late supper that night. actually i wanted to write the following sentences sarcastically. i have chosen not to do so. I was glad that I actually learned a new word today. Stand up. I will remember the meanings of this verb forever.

According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

STAND SB UP (INFORMAL) to deliberately not meet sb you have arranged to meet, especially sb you are having a romantic relationship with:

Anyway thank you guys for giving me such a valuable lesson!

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Ugly Price War

News on C.K.T

Good morning everyone. Sorry for interrupting the show. We just received breaking news regarding to the Harry Potter 7th book.

Harry Potter books at rm69.90!
Can you believe that? We were shocked when we first receive the information from anonymous who works in Tesco Sales department that they will be selling the 7th harry potter at price as low as rm69.90 regardless to the recommended retail price which is 109.90. A very big price difference indeed! Tesco sells rm40 cheaper than other bookstore like MPH, Popular, Harris and Border. Of course no freebies will be given away like other major bookstores do, but you can save a lot.

As the result of the drastic action taken by Tesco, the 4 major bookstores have reached agreement not to put the book on sale to counter and protest the drastic action and voice the unfairness. So fans of harry potter out there, you guys better go to Tesco nearby to get your very own copy of the latest Harry Potter as they have limited copies only. So better be hurry!

I am William. Signing out.

All rights reserved. C.K.T TV 2007

behind the scenes!
What the %^&*(censorship)! my key! my care key! hey Anna do you have my car key? i am in hurry now. I wanna get my harry potter asap!

are you going to Tesco?

No of course! %^& them(censorship again)! what the hell they think they are. selling the book at rm70! that's crazy man! honestly it is very unfair for other competitors especially the bookstores . they bookstores sell book to earn profit, not groceries, appliances, or whatsoever. tak adil sial! Books are their bread and butter. Popular.. here i come. i support you.

hey william! get back to work

hey boss wants you to work le. how?

sorry boss i can't make it for the news at noon. sorry got to go! Nobody can take care of charkueyteow if i am fired.

Thursday, 19 July 2007

My Birthday 19 July

thx Jin Ee for your cake

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Today is my birthday. It is time for me to say good bye to 18. I am no longer 18, but 19. So happy yet worry, I am older now and just a stone’s throw away from adulthood. That does worry me. People grow up and become adult; it means we have to face more problem and setbacks in life. We would never be in comfort zone we used to be. More challenges await us in front for us to overcome and conquer.

Enough of philosophy let move on to what has happened on my birthday. At midnight I received a present from Jin Ee and it was a slice of cake. I never believed that I would get a cake from friends. I was so surprised. Then today morning I went to INTEC and had my routine as usual, attending classes, day-dreaming, and others. Other than that I received a lot of messages from my friends through various way, some wished me personally, some sent me messages

through hand phone and some left comment in my friendster. But some of them, the way they wish me happy birthday really made me feel touched and it was really unexpected. Jin Ee sent me a cake at midnight; Chee Keong, Sheng Yu and Ang sang happy birthday song to me through phone. And the CA people there even prepared a birthday cake for those whose birthday is in July.

Other than that, today’s CA gathering was really great. I felt that I was part of them, the Christians; and I enjoyed listening to the inspirational talk by Joesh (sorry if I am wrong, not sure the spelling).

to me the above message sent by my parent is the most touching message i have ever received. That was the happiest moment ever.

I really enjoyed myself today I think I won’t forget today, my special day.

Consequences of being overconfident

Recently I joined a multimedia presentation competition in conjunction with Math and Science carnival. We knew about it only 2 days before the presentation day and we did everything in hurry. Before the competition, Amir and Shivenes were so confident of winning the rm300 cash. But I wasn’t. I have joined a lot of competition and also experienced the consequences of being over confident. Among all the teams, our presentation was the most unorganized and people could see that not much effort has been put in our presentation. As the result we lost and got last. Unbelievable! At the moment I saw our scores, I was stupefied, speechless. I predicted that we would lose but I never thought that we would get last. There was a strange feeling filling my heart and I don’t know what kind of feeling it is. May be it is humiliation. Because never in my life had I got last. Never! Finally after 18 years I was in that position. No one will understand the feeling I had when standing in front of everyone, listening to the announcement of the result and the comment from the judges. Sucks man! However we managed to get consolation prize even we got last and it was rm100 cash. Not bad for last minute work! So we will get rm25 each. Wonderful!

see rm100 for getting last.
but it was final round, so felt proud of myself also!

Emo la you William!.... 16 July

GYE: William, why you blog so emo! Why can’t you just write something else like your com or other stuff which is not that emo as your previous blog?

Since people keep saying my blog so emo. I plan to write something else. But I have no idea to write. But I myself actually think that my blogs are not emo as what they said. I just write to express my feelings so that I could feel better after letting it out. (may be I was emo at that time! Haha!) I don’t want to change my style or the way I write my blog. If I do so, it would be meaningless for me, because expressing my feelings and my own opinion is the force which drives me into writing blog. No I kinda addicted to it already. However recently I don’t know why my idea is depleting and it is quite hard for me to write blog. May be my life now has gone back to the same monotonous, mundane, dull routine I have in Shah Alam.

Alone good or bad... 16 July

I am alone in the house for this weekend. My roommates has gone to the kem bina insan and left me alone in the house. After I have been staying in this new room for one week, I find my life now more organized and feel more peaceful as I can spend more time on study and concentrated very well. However somehow I feel very lonely and need a companion because I am the only ALG student in my house. I don’t know whether it is good or bad, but there is one thing I am quite sure is that I have the life I always want to have now. This new room of mine gives me the feeling of being at home. I have gained something at the same time I have lost something. There is no such thing as perfection in life. You have to sacrifice something to achieve our goal. I got the idea from the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”. It is a great movie of course mainly because of the lesson or message delivered. We can’t have everything we want. We gain something; we might also lose something in the process. Fame and success in career might change you into something you would never want to be. You are forced to be those who you hate in the past.

Bored and sleepy

I feel sleepy and keep yawning every time during Brian’s class. German class used to be very interesting; all of us were like having fun learning German. However now I think that German class is very boring and quite monotonous. I hope that Brian doesn’t just sit in front of his Apple Mac Book Pro and give lesson. It might be quite interesting at first because it was quite cool to have a lecturer teaching using computer. Moreover it was a 10k Mac Book which is quite rare in Malaysia. But now I think it is time for him to change his teaching style as the method he is using now is getting boring and I prefer him to moving around, writing some stuff on white board. To have my eyes just fixed on the projector screen makes me feel very sleepy. Brian, kannst du bitte deine Lehrmethode aendern?

Monday, 16 July 2007

To accept

No one can predict what will happen in the future as things always happen in a way that is different from what we have actually planned. That is why no human is capable of manipulating life. Willingly or reluctantly, we have to accept the reality.


Why do people cry? Do you think that only weak people cry? In my opinion, crying is not a sign of weakness. For me, crying is a way of reducing stress, releasing the anger, feeling more comfortable, showing love, but not showing weaknesses. By the time we were born and just got out of the womb, the first thing the nurse will do to us is making you cry because it helps the babies to breath.

Everyone cries. If anyone says they never cry, they are indeed a big liar. Crying shows no sign of weakness. If you want to cry, just cry and don’t care about what other people might think about you. Just let it out. Even though the problem won’t be solved just by crying, you will feel better after you cry.


Today, finally we knew our semester 2 final exam result and sadly I only got 13 points 2 Bs (Physic and Chemistry) and 1 A (Math and Mechanics). Other than that I got an A for German and B for English. I felt disappointed with my result and me myself. I was stupefied and just couldn’t believe myself that I would get B for my Physic. So sad man! May be I sound a bit kiasu. I admit that I am kiasu. Actually if I were the person 2 or 3 years ago, getting that kind of result would have no effect on me because I would consider that kind of result is good enough for me as I know clearly my capability and how far I could go, how high I could jump. After being here and getting good result in first semester has boosted up my confidence and that confidence has blinded me from who I was and made me think that I am intelligent and smart. Moreover people around me like my classmates always think that I am a genius or what so ever. Their compliment is also one of the contributing factors that make me to have a stupid thought like that. May be it is time for me to throw away the size 12 shoes and wear back the size 9 shoes I always did. William, don’t be too overconfident! Study! Study! Study! Just be yourself, the person who doesn’t shine brightly during the process but at the end. Oh here I would like to congratulate Yoong for getting such an outstanding result.


Time flies. The one-month holiday finally comes to an end. This holiday a lot of things happened to me. There are some changes on me mentally and physically. I was delighted to be at home for one month because I love to be in the house, which has been my home since I was born. I was happy to have my bed, my computer, my TV, and my parent to accompany me during this long holiday. Now I am alone at home because my parent has gone out for attending a wedding dinner in Tambun. I spend my last 2 hours here at home alone, writing this blog. I really hope that my parent could accompany me now because I miss them so much. One has to experience something to understand or realize the feeling. My parent always sent me to bus station and stayed with me until the bus left. I thought that I didn’t miss them as I felt nothing in my heart. But this time without my parent I feel lonely. it has proven that I do miss them. Especially after what has happened to me during the holiday, it has strengthened our bond. I am reluctant to go back because there would be lots of homework, hectic schedule, awaiting us. At home I was back to my comfort zone once again. During the recovery period, my mother became my temporary maid and took good care of me. I will keep this special period of time in my mind forever because it means a lot to me. That was the invaluable treasure I have found this holiday. How about yours?

Sunday, 1 July 2007

Reminiscent of the relationship I had

Finally I can go out and hang out with friends. We went to The Sense music café. i was looking forward to a very happy, exciting gathering, but at the end it turned out to be a very dull and boring gathering. I had the chance to meet with those who just finished A-Level exam and will be going oversea soon. I looked at them for a few seconds and they didn’t even look back at me. So sad le. We never talked at all. It reminded me of the last gathering in my friend’s house. I was in the center of attention because of my relationship with my ex. Now after breaking up with her, they had nothing to talk to me at all and me either. I wonder what would it be if I never broke up with my ex. May be I think too much or am being a bit sensitive. By the way I was sitting beside my ex yesterday’s gathering. I felt awkward as this was our first gathering after we become friends once again. But we talked. This reminds me about something very important. Like genie and lamp, the genie comes out when the lamp is rubbed. When I met with her, the feeling hidden inside me suddenly came out. My I still have some feeling towards her. However this feeling I had won’t last. Long distance relationship might work if we have a very strong base we have built before we part. Otherwise it is quite challenging to maintain such relationship.

Relationship is a learning process

I have learnt a lot through my first relationship. Before that I have no idea what is love and can’t even differentiate what is friendship and love. We need time and experience to get the answer. After the failed relationship I had, I got the answer finally. I started to understand actually what love is and what the feelings being in love are. I am just not ready for relationship now. May be because of the hectic schedule I have or I haven’t met my Miss Right yet. I admit that it is difficult to differentiate between best friend and partner. I got it wrong once, I hope there won’t be second time for me. After breaking up with girlfriend, a lot of people have questioned me about that. Why are you so cruel? Why do you hurt her? But no one comforts, consoles, cares for me, and my feelings. The answer I gave them is that it is time for me to let go because I don’t want to lie and hurt her anymore. In my opinion, sometimes you have to be in relationship to get to know whether the partner is suitable to you. Thanks to her. I learn a lot but I felt sorry for disappointing and hurting her. I am not a perfect person as she thought I should be.

Friday, 29 June 2007


Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller

Friendship so complicated

Before I came to INTEC, for me friendship is simple, a group of people study together, we have fun together. But friendship evolved into a very dangerous war or battle, very complicated, very difficult to be understood, and it hurts. In battle, there are allies and foes. Allies never be allies forever. Same goes to foes. To survive this battle, I have learnt to develop skills and create a very strong defense against the continuous attack from not only outside, but also from inside. I know that I am no more in comfort zone I used to be, shielded from the outer dangerous assault. Nowadays, it is not easy to find a true friend. I lost one and I find it difficult to find another one.


What would you feel when you are isolated by your friends? I haven’t experienced it before. but I have a friend do. I don’t know why people isolate him. Perhaps this is because of his strange behavior, kiasu, arrogant, the way he talks, how he socializes with others. When I saw him being isolated or he isolated himself from his friend, I am not sure about that; but sometimes I do feel pity with him, even though I also dislike his attitude sometimes. he always offends people. However, after one year being his classmate, I realize that somehow he himself doesn’t know that when or how he has offended and even when people started to hate him. Funny!

Every one of us comes from different background, different environment, the way we are raised by our parents are different. After we have got used to something, it is difficult to change it.

We should ever conduct ourselves toward our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend. Cardinal Newman

A question that I don’t know the answer

Why do people praise you and be nice to you when they need something from you? When you are not needed, you will be forgotten completely until they need your help again. Why? I need an answer. Can somebody give me one?


Nowadays most of us like to sms rather than calling. Have you ever counted how many sms you have sent in one day? For me, not many it is still countable. When you are in great pain, lonely, sick and suddenly you receive a message from your friend who wishes you get well soon, what would you feel?

Last week, Ah Lian sent me a message.

‘I wish somehow.. my sms made u 2 gt well soon! Take care..’

I felt the sudden warmness in my heart at that very moment. I appreciate that so much.
Thank you Ah Lian.

What a relief

I am delighted that all the pain and mental torment that I have endured have come to an end. Now I am waiting for the wound to recover. No more bleeding. During that period of time, all the sufferings have given me a lot of idea to write blogs. Now my ideas all are almost depleted. I hardly write one. I express my feeling through writing blogs. Now my life became mundane and prosaic. Staying at home most of the time, I feel extremely bored. But I am happy that I have gone through the pain. My pain may be is nothing in the opinion of others, but for me it is the greatest pain I ever had in 18 years. I am glad ever thing is over now.

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

not again!

Just now I saw blood stain on the dressing. Again the bleeding continues. I have no idea what to do now. Again Stitches. I hate that. I can’t stand the pain anymore. I have undergone it 3 times. Why the doctors just can’t get it done? I try to be strong, stay calm, and not to cry. But I can’t. I have no idea. I hate the hospital. It was them who causing all this trouble and the consequence is that I have to suffer the pain. I took 7 needles. I can’t take more. The pain is unbearable. Stop for god’s sake. Please stop!! Help me. Stop torturing me like this. I can stand it anymore. Please somebody put an end on this. Don’t torture me like this.


12 more days left until the school reopen. I am worried whether I can make it or not. It has been one week I underwent the operation, the wound is still bleeding. Two days ago I went to the hospital because of the bleeding; I took stitches for second time. The tremendous pain I have endured was unbearable. Ok fine I could take it again. But what disappointed me was the doctor in that hospital. Yesterday morning about 1 a.m., it was bleeding again. This time it bled profusely. I was freak out. Then my parent sent me to the same hospital again. But it was Sunday morning and the doctor wasn’t around. So they just changed the dressing and asked me to be admitted. Oh my gosh! Was that necessary? For circumcision? I was quite costly because I had to wait for the doctor who was on leave until Thursday. Oh I have never mentioned before. that hospital is a private hospital in Penang. So I have decided not to be admitted, but when I reached home, the dressing became blood red. Ooo of course it was blood red colour because it was blood. I quickly went to the Malay clinic in S.P and luckily the bleeding stopped. I don’t understand. Why can’t they just call the doctor to look into my problem. I was so disappointed of that hospital. 12-day-time is all I have for the wound to recover. Haih! How?

oh my god

My German essay, I have done nothing about it. Brian sent us an e-mail to remind us about the text for German speech contest. I have no idea what to write about; moreover I haven’t touched German for more than one month. I have forgotten most of the bombastic words and all the verbs. How! I have no mood to do it due to the small operation of mine. I feel very painful now and have to see the doctor again because of the bleeding. I am so worried, frustrated. I am afraid that I can’t make it to school reopen.

Next Semester 25-06-2007

I am looking forward to school reopen because my life now is meaningless and boring. I can’t do anything but just stay at home and stay put. Next semester would be an interesting semester because a lot of things will change. I have new room, new roommate and new computer.

Thursday, 21 June 2007


have a look at my window vista in my com! finally i get to use window vista! it is quite cool at first glance with the added 3D effect.

Oh my God! 21-06-2007

My German essay, I have done nothing about it. Brian sent us an e-mail to remind us about the text for German speech contest. I have no idea what to write about; moreover I haven’t touched German for more than one month. I have forgotten most of the bombastic words and all the verbs. How! I have no mood to do it due to the small operation of mine. I feel very painful now and have to see the doctor again because of the bleeding. I am so worried, frustrated. I am afraid that I can’t make it to school reopen.

Brother’s homecoming!! 21-06-2007

Today my mother called my brother in Japan. Finally he has bought air ticket and is going to come back on 15th August. It has been almost 3 years I haven’t seen him. He seldom comes back to home because of the hectic schedule, expensive air ticket and working to earn money. I am looking forward to seeing him. I hope we don’t quarrel with him again like last time he came back. Hehe!

What a wonderful moment 19.6.2007

Today, my mother helped me to wash my hair. Why couldn’t I just wash myself? My mum didn’t want me to move a lot so she helped me. It has been two days I didn’t take bath. I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy because of my oily face and long hair.
Back in the past, when I was a kid, my mum always washed my hair. She washed very thoroughly and massaged my head. Every time she washed my hair, I felt so relaxed. Now after so many years, she did that again and I felt so delighted to have my hair washed by her. At that very moment, I had the feeling of being the happiest child in the world.

Pain 痛

After the surgery, I still feel the immense pain. Last night, I was freak out when I saw blood dripping when I was trying to remove the gauze. The blood was dripping. So I quickly applied so pressure on the bleeding source but to no avail, still bleeding profusely, so with the speed of light my parent sent me to the clinic nearby to control the bleeding.
Thank god!(I know I shouldn’t use that cos I am a free-thinker!) the bleeding was controlled. Whole night I was just lying on the sofa, watching tv. My mum forbade me to move around. It might worsen the condition. I even fall asleep on the sofa until morning.
I don’t know It is normal or not. The only thing I know is that I am going to suffer for the next few weeks. I hope I could make it to school early July. Life now is boring. I can’t go anywhere but stay at home playing computer.
Pain. It tortures every living thing and shows no mercy. But behind the torment, it is a good teacher, as the saying goes, ‘no pain no gain’. After suffering pain, people actually grow up. We learn to avoid from getting us into the same pain again and take good care of ourselves. Some people die in the process. Like my friend. He has suffered the unbearable pain which is impossible for us to understand unless we have experienced it. Then at the end he died in the brutal battle against cancer. He didn’t die for nothing. The pain he has endured does mean something and teach us some important lessons of life. Take good care of our health; appreciate friendship; be obedient to your parent like he did; always lend friend a helping hand. We might not realized them until we lost them or somebody else does. His death teaches and inspires me a lot. When he was still alive, I never appreciate friends around me. Friend is not that significant. i have a thought before. He has changed my perception, but it was too late for me to actually do something for him as he has always been a helpful hand in the past.
Everyone wants to avoid the pain. I don’t want to feel pain, but there are things which are unavoidable like pain. We have to have courage to face and overcome it. 雨过天晴 (Yu Guo Tian Qing). It means that after a downpour there would be a shinny day once more. (hehe I think my translation is correct). Be courageous. I hope I can be courageous also… Go tyger!